why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize