This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
