dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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