TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I need to calm my uterus...
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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