the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
