Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
