There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize