The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
