He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
