Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
