she is the kim kardashian of front butts
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
