Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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