i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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