they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
You're like the curious george of whores
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
