Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
