She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
