in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
