God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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