i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
