We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
