I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
