Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize