Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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