Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
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