I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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