Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Randomize
