If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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