did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Life is so much better after having sex.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
