Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
