is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
