what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
It's shark week go big or go home
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
