OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
