First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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