i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
