It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
