Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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