His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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