when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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