alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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