I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
