I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
