Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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