He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
