Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
