"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
