I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
