Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
