Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
