Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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