Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
