well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
4 words: hood of his car
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Randomize