Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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