Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
