I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
