But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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