she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
