I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
