Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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