i just wanna soil my oats bro
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Drunk is not a location!
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
