In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Randomize
