Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
