she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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